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Jo's avatar

My dear sweet girl what you shared is truly honest. You not only described the details and patterns but you acknowledged your tendencies to procrastinate (a family trait I’m afraid). I want you to know that all you said is familiar territory, at least for me. When I was in high school I learned a lot about true friends. A true friend sees the you underneath the exterior self. They see the joker. The mean girl. The brutally honest outspoken girl. And the boring girl. Yet, they continue to seek your company and let you into their lives. Once I accepted the girl my true friends saw the journey became easier. I am still not someone that everyone wants to spend time with but that’s ok.

This may seem like a random addendum but what you said about your recent meditation experience when you spoke the question “what am I avoiding”. We’ll this reminded me of a time when I was teaching Sunday school and the lesson was on prayer. I explained to the kids that prayer was like having a conversation and that a conversation has two parts - speaking and listening. I asked them if they or someone they know has ever complained that their prayers were not answered. Many raised their hands or nodded their heads. (Nodding gravely) I replied, next time you’re praying make sure that you pause and listen for the reply. You may not get the answer you want but you will get a reply.

There was a great silence in the class. After a few moments I asked what’s wrong? Their reply was “we were listening.”

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